Example Edits

Below are a few examples which showcase both my ability and style as an editor. All text is used with permission from the original authors where applicable.


Example 1

Excerpt from a fantasy story.

Original

The cave was lit by burning animal fat, furniture gave the cave a very homey feel, if it weren't for the gems and bones and oddly shaped- and coloured flasks and carved totems covering racks and planks all over the walls.

The wise women did her readings of the omens and communed with spirits all night, until at last she grabbed the sword and walked to a wall in the back of her cave. The entire wall was full of animal- and a few human skulls with a black, pink, purple or a yellow gem in their mouth, and she led her thin hands run across them until they had found a troll skull from whence she grabbed a small pink gem.

Tracked Edits

The cave was lit by burning animal fat. The furniture would have given , furniture gave the cave a very homey feel if it weren’t for the gems, bones, carved totems, and oddly-shaped and coloured flasks covering the walls. , if it weren’t for the gems and bones and oddly shaped- and coloured flasks, and carved totems covering racks and planks all over the walls.

The wise woman read did her readings of the omens and communed with spirits all night, until at last she grabbed the sword and walked to a wall in the back of her cave. The entire wall was lined with the skulls of animals, and a few that were human. They each had full of animal- and a few human skulls with a black, pink, purple, or a yellow gem in its their mouth. She ran her thin hands , and she led her thin hands run across them until they had found a troll skull, from which whence she extracted grabbed a small, pink gem.

Edits Applied

The cave was lit by burning animal fat. The furniture would have given the cave a very homey feel if it weren’t for the gems, bones, carved totems, and oddly-shaped and coloured flasks covering the walls. 

The wise woman read the omens and communed with spirits all night, until at last she grabbed the sword and walked to the back of her cave. The entire wall was lined with the skulls of animals, and a few that were human. They each had a black, pink, purple, or yellow gem in its mouth. She ran her thin hands across them until they had found a troll skull, from which she extracted a small, pink gem.


Example 2

Excerpt from an article about the history of Ontario colonization roads.

Original

The colonization roads of the 1840s and 1850s were preceded by other government-sponsored road programmes going back to the period immediately after the American Revolutionary War. One early road was cut through the geographic Beverley Township from Ancaster westward toward the Grand River by two Englishmen named Ward and Smith in 1799–1800. This allowed European settlers to access the northern part of the Grand River Valley. During and after the War of 1812, government spending on roads in Upper Canada (present-day Ontario) increased significantly, leading to the improvement and extension of a number of roads. Roads into the interior were still not plentiful, however. By this time, a number of townships had been established along the northern shores of Lake Erie and Lake Ontario, which contained generally fertile land composed of glacial till and clay-rich loam; at this time, Upper Canada was “essentially one long, thin strip of settlement” along these shores, according to historian Andrew Burghardt. As these townships filled up, development pressure increased toward the interior, but the colonial government struggled to maintain Upper Canada’s principal roads and bridges. The government pursued private toll roads, empowering corporations to borrow money to finance roadway improvements, which would then theoretically be paid for from toll income. London, which during the 1820s and 1830s was one of the few major settlements in Upper Canada that was not situated on a lake or canal relied heavily on road connections. Numerous road companies suffered from financial problems; Burghardt notes that “[i]t is clear that before the advent of the railway it was difficult to supply adequate means of land transportation at a bearable cost.”

[…]

In 1847, an exploration survey was carried out by Robert Bell to lay out the lines that would become the Opeongo, Hastings, and Addington Roads. The Public Lands Act, passed in 1853, permitted the granting of land to settlers who were at least 18. Those settlers who cleared at least 12 acres (4.9 ha) within four years, built a house within a year, and resided on the grant for at least five years would receive the title to that land. The government subsequently built over 1,600 kilometres (1,000 mi) of roads over the following 20 years to provide access to these grants.

However, the promises of fertile land in this new northern tract of wilderness proved false. Beneath thin layers of sparsely spread soil was solid granite. Where this granite descended deeper, valleys formed and filled with muskeg. Despite an early influx of settlers, the vast majority of grants were abandoned by the turn of the century; only 40% remained. During the first half of the 1900s, many of these colonization roads were incorporated into the growing provincial highway network. Some sections were improved to modern highway standards, while others were subsequently bypassed or abandoned. The roads that were not incorporated as highways either became local roads or were consumed by nature.

Tracked Edits

The colonization roads of the 1840s and 1850s were preceded by other government-sponsored road programmes going back to from the period immediately after the American Revolutionary War. One early road was cut through the geographic Beverley Township from Ancaster westward toward the Grand River by two Englishmen named Ward and Smith in 1799–1800. One early road was cut westward through the geographic Beverly Township from Ancaster toward the Grand River in 1799–1800 by a pair of Englishmen named Ward and Smith. This allowed European settlers to access the northern part of the Grand River Valley. During and after the War of 1812, government spending on roads in Upper Canada (present-day Ontario) increased significantly, leading to the improvement and extension of a number of roads. Roads into the interior were still not plentiful rare, however. By this time, a number of townships had been established along the northern shores of Lake Erie and Lake Ontario, which contained generally fertile land composed of glacial till and clay-rich loam; at. At this time, Upper Canada was “essentially one long, thin strip of settlement” along these shores, according to historian Andrew Burghardt. As these townships filled up, development developed, pressure increased toward the interior, but and the colonial government struggled to maintain Upper Canada’s principal roads and bridges. The government pursued private toll roads, empowering empowered corporations to borrow money to finance roadway improvements, which would then theoretically be paid for from by toll income. London, which during the 1820s and 1830s was one of the few major settlements in Upper Canada London was one of the few major settlements in Upper Canada during the 1820s and 1830s that was not situated on a lake or canal and relied heavily on road connections. Numerous road companies suffered from financial problems; Burghardt notes that “[i]t is clear that before the advent of the railway it was difficult to supply adequate means of land transportation at a bearable cost.”

[…]

In 1847, an exploration survey was carried out by Robert Bell to lay out the lines that would become the Opeongo, Hastings, and Addington Roads. The Public Lands Act, passed in 1853, permitted the granting of land to settlers who were at least 18 years old. Those settlers who cleared at least 12 acres (4.9 ha) within four years, built a house within a one year, and resided on the grant for at least five years would receive the title to that land. The government subsequently built over 1,600 kilometres (1,000 mi) of roads over the following 20 years to provide access to these grants. Over the following 20 years, 1,600 kilometres (1,000 mi) of roads were built to provide access to these grants.

However, the The promises of fertile land in this new northern tract of wilderness proved false, however. Beneath thin layers of sparsely spread soil was solid granite. Where this granite descended deeper, valleys formed and filled with muskeg. Muskeg-filled valleys had formed wherever the granite descended deeper. Despite an early influx of settlers, the vast majority of grants were abandoned by the turn of the century; only 40% remained, with only 40% remaining. During the first half of the 1900s, many of these colonization roads were incorporated into the growing provincial highway network. Some sections were improved to modern highway standards, while others were subsequently bypassed or abandoned. The roads that were not incorporated as highways either became local roads or were consumed by nature., either becoming local roads or being consumed by nature.

Edits Applied

The colonization roads of the 1840s and 1850s were preceded by other government-sponsored road programmes from the period immediately after the American Revolutionary War. One early road was cut westward through the geographic Beverly Township from Ancaster toward the Grand River in 1799–1800 by a pair of Englishmen named Ward and Smith. This allowed European settlers to access the northern part of the Grand River Valley. During and after the War of 1812, government spending on roads in Upper Canada (present-day Ontario) increased significantly, leading to the improvement and extension of a number of roads. Roads into the interior were still rare, however. By this time, a number of townships had been established along the northern shores of Lake Erie and Lake Ontario, which contained generally fertile land composed of glacial till and clay-rich loam. At this time, Upper Canada was “essentially one long, thin strip of settlement” along these shores, according to historian Andrew Burghardt. As these townships developed, pressure increased toward the interior, and the colonial government struggled to maintain Upper Canada’s principal roads and bridges. The government empowered corporations to borrow money to finance roadway improvements, which would then theoretically be paid for by toll income. London was one of the few major settlements in Upper Canada during the 1820s and 1830s that was not situated on a lake or canal and relied heavily on road connections. Numerous road companies suffered from financial problems; Burghardt notes that “[i]t is clear that before the advent of the railway it was difficult to supply adequate means of land transportation at a bearable cost.”

[…]

In 1847, an exploration survey was carried out by Robert Bell to lay out the lines that would become the Opeongo, Hastings, and Addington Roads. The Public Lands Act, passed in 1853, permitted the granting of land to settlers who were at least 18 years old. Those who cleared at least 12 acres (4.9 ha) within four years, built a house within one year, and resided on the grant for at least five years would receive the title to that land. Over the following 20 years, 1,600 kilometres (1,000 mi) of roads were built to provide access to these grants.

The promises of fertile land in this new northern tract of wilderness proved false, however. Beneath thin layers of sparsely spread soil was solid granite. Muskeg-filled valleys had formed wherever the granite descended deeper. Despite an early influx of settlers, the majority of grants were abandoned by the turn of the century, with only 40% remaining. During the first half of the 1900s, many of these colonization roads were incorporated into the growing provincial highway network. Some sections were improved to modern highway standards, while others were bypassed or abandoned, either becoming local roads or being consumed by nature.


Example 3

Excerpt from a fantasy story.

Original

Mithato looked down at his hands and saw those deadly sparks splutter and dance around it. Blood drops fell from the cut across his face and landed on each finger.

‘For what do you use these hands?’ Personless thoughts entered his mind.

“I am a healer,” he mumbled in response. The amulet to the holy goddess suddenly felt much heavier around his neck, and the goddess regretted having arranged this meeting. He vomits again, mixing the fluid with his own tears and blood.

Strange then, isn’t it? If all came from Anu, the Everything, why is it that people should find so much difference in each other rather than their common ancestry? Why is it that people weave and create these ramshackle skins out of assumptions, pre-conceptions, ideologies and declare them our armour: named Truth. And yet be unable to see these truths are so easily fractured, weakened and cracked, like rotting porcelain. Therefore, we must lash out first, using our armour as a blunt weapon, crushing others. That is the tradition of Nirn, of this Arena. If you are to defy this, then first defy your skin of ideology, and next defy the Absolute Terror you have of the other you do not know so that you cross the no man’s land between you both with no armour at all, and defy the Absolute Terror again, till no distance remains.

As for Mithato, who’s soul was marred by guilt, he turned that lightning inward, and his nerves (The conduit of the soul.) burnt with charged energy till they became ashen and empty, and died on the spot.

Tracked Edits

Mithato looked down at his hands and saw those deadly sparks splutter and dance around them. it. Blood dripped drops fell from the cut across his face and landed on each finger.

“For what do you use these hands?” Personless thoughts entered his mind.

“I am a healer,” he mumbled in response. The amulet to the holy goddess suddenly felt much heavier around his neck, bearing the weight of regret. and the goddess regretted having arranged this meeting. He vomited vomits again, mixing the fluid with his own tears and blood.

Strange then, isn’t it? If all came from Anu, the Everything, why is it that people should find so much difference in each other rather than their common ancestry? Why is it that people weave and create these ramshackle skins out of assumptions, preconceptions and ideologies? pre-conceptions, ideologies They wear these as an armour named Truth, yet are and declare them our armour: named Truth. And yet be unable to see that these truths are so easily fractured, weakened and cracked, like rotting porcelain. Therefore, they must be first to lash out, using their we must lash out first, using our armour as a blunt weapon, crushing others. That is the tradition of this Arena. If you are to defy this, then first defy your skin of ideology. Next, , and next defy the Absolute Terror you have of the other you do not know, so you both may so that you cross the no man’s land between you both with no armour at all. Defy , and defy the Absolute Terror until again, till no distance remains.

As for Mithato, whose who’s soul was marred by guilt, he turned that lightning inward. His nerves, the conduit of the soul, burned , and his nerves (The conduit of the soul.) burnt with charged energy, becoming till they became ashen and empty. Mithato the healer then died where he stood. , and died on the spot.

Edits Applied

Mithato looked down at his hands and saw those deadly sparks splutter and dance around them. Blood dripped from the cut across his face and landed on each finger.

“For what do you use these hands?” Personless thoughts entered his mind.

“I am a healer,” he mumbled in response. The amulet to the holy goddess suddenly felt much heavier around his neck, bearing the weight of regret. He vomited again, mixing the fluid with his own tears and blood.

“Strange then, isn’t it? If all came from Anu the Everything, why is it that people should find so much difference in each other rather than their common ancestry? Why is it that people weave these ramshackle skins out of assumptions, preconceptions and ideologies? They wear these as an armour named Truth, yet are unable to see that these truths are so easily fractured, weakened and cracked, like rotting porcelain. Therefore, they must be first to lash out, using their armour as a blunt weapon, crushing others. That is the tradition of this Arena. If you are to defy this, then first defy your skin of ideology. Next, defy the Absolute Terror you have of the other you do not know, so you both may cross the no man’s land between you with no armour at all. Defy the Absolute Terror until no distance remains.”

As for Mithato, whose soul was marred by guilt, he turned that lightning inward. His nerves, the conduit of the soul, burned with charged energy, becoming ashen and empty. Mithato the healer then died where he stood.


Example 4

Excerpt from an article about Argentine Croatian journalist and human rights activist, Drago Carlos Pilsel.

As there are lingering issues here which would require a response from the author, the edited text would not yet be considered complete.

Original

In 1989, he came to Zagreb in Yugoslavia for the first time in his life as a Franciscan. He was sent to Dalmatia for some time to learn and in 1991 he went to Rijeka to study in the Roman Catholic Archdiocese.

He left the Franciscan order in September 1991 after his brother was pronounced missing during the Croatian War of Independence. Pilsel immediately enlisted in the Croatian army and served under the future Croatian minister of defense Ante Kotromanović in Dalmatia. He left the army in 1992. In March 1992, he went to study philosophy and theology at the Catholic Faculty of Theology in Zagreb. He gave his final examinations there but ultimately graduated from the Evangelical theology faculty in Osijek.

When he was studying in Zagreb, he started working on a local TV station called Open Television (OTV) where he had his own TV show. The show mainly based itself on religious topics. He was also a long-time writer for the national newspaper Novi list (from 1995 to 2009). When it comes to other newspapers or magazines, the most notable are: Feral Tribune, Globus, Glas Koncila, Novi Plamen, and Slobodna Dalmacija. He also wrote and corresponded for foreign media companies, most notably El País (Spain), BBC (United Kingdom), Monitor (Montenegro), and Nezavisne novine (Bosnia and Herzegovina).

Drago Pilsel was one of the founding members of the Croatian Helsinki Committee, a human rights watch organization. He gained public attention during the mid-1990s when he investigated and located Serbian victims after the end of the Croatian independence war. He entered Knin shortly after Operation Storm and started working on that terrain . He also exposed Croatian war crimes in Lika and Gospić. He didn’t get along with the Croatian Helsinki Committee president Ivan Zvonimir Čičak. He was expelled the Croatian Helsinki Committee in 1997. Pilsel went to Sarajevo with his wife and lived there for a couple of years.

In 2002, Pilsel lead the first Zagreb Gay Pride which at the time was a great civil rights achievement.

The same year, he was kicked out of the Croatian Christian journalists organisation . A few days earlier to that, Pilsel critically attacked a bishop and said that the Croatian Church was: “an inhuman, nationalist, catholic sect from which he wants to stay far away.” Pilsel maintains a negative attitude against the Croatian cardinal Josip Bozanić and the institution of the Croatian Church. He believes that they are extremely right-wing oriented and want to manipulate politicians.

Tracked Edits

In 1989, he came to Zagreb Drago Carlos Pilsel arrived in Yugoslavia for the first time in his life as a Franciscan. He was sent to Dalmatia for some time to learn and . As a Franciscan, he was first sent to Dalmatia in order to learn. in 1991 he went to Rijeka to study in the Roman Catholic Archdiocese. In 1991, he began studying at the Roman Catholic Archdiocese in Rijeka.

He Pilsel left the Franciscan order in September 1991 after his brother was pronounced missing during the Croatian War of Independence. Pilsel immediately enlisted in the Croatian army and served in Dalmatia under the future Croatian minister of defense Ante Kotromanović in Dalmatia. He left the army in 1992. In March 1992, he went In March 1992, Pilsel left the army to study philosophy and theology at the Catholic Faculty of Theology in Zagreb. He gave his final examinations there but ultimately graduated from the Evangelical theology faculty Theology Seminary in Osijek.

When he was While studying in Zagreb, he started working on a Pilsel began working at local TV station called Open Television (OTV) where he had hosting his own TV show. The show mainly based itself , which was focused mainly on religious topics. He was also a long-time writer for the national newspaper Novi list (from 1995 to 2009). When it comes to other newspapers or magazines, the most notable are: , as well as a contributor to other publications including Feral Tribune, Globus, Glas Koncila, Novi Plamen, and Slobodna Dalmacija. He also Pilsel further wrote and corresponded for foreign media companies, most notably El País (Spain), BBC (United Kingdom), Monitor (Montenegro), and Nezavisne novine (Bosnia and Herzegovina).

Drago Pilsel was one of the founding members of the Croatian Helsinki Committee, a human rights watch organization. He gained public attention during the mid-1990s when he investigated and located Serbian victims after the end of the Croatian independence war War of Independence. He entered Knin shortly after Operation Storm and started working on that terrain . He also exposed Croatian war crimes in Lika and Gospić. He didn’t get along with the Croatian Helsinki Committee president Ivan Zvonimir Čičak. He Plisel was expelled from the Croatian Helsinki Committee in 1997, having reportedly not gotten along well with committee president Ivan Zvonimir Čičak. Pilsel went to Sarajevo with his wife and lived there for a couple of years.

In 2002, Pilsel lead the first Zagreb Gay Pride which at the time was was considered a great civil rights achievement at the time.

The same year, he was kicked out of Pilsel was expelled from the Croatian Christian journalists organisation . A few days earlier to that prior, Pilsel critically attacked a bishop and said that the Croatian Church was: “an inhuman, nationalist, catholic sect from which he wants to stay far away.” Pilsel maintains a negative attitude against towards the Croatian cardinal Josip Bozanić and the institution of the Croatian Church. He believes, citing his belief that they are extremely right-wing oriented and want to manipulate politicians.

Edits Applied

[EDITOR’S NOTE] - The issues highlighted below must be addressed before the edit can be completed.

In 1989, Drago Carlos Pilsel arrived in Yugoslavia for the first time in his life. As a Franciscan, he was first sent to Dalmatia in order to learn [JC01]. In 1991, he began studying at the Roman Catholic Archdiocese in Rijeka.

Pilsel left the Franciscan order in September 1991 after his brother was pronounced missing during the Croatian War of Independence. Pilsel immediately enlisted in the Croatian army and served in Dalmatia under the future Croatian minister of defense Ante Kotromanović. In March 1992, Pilsel left the army to study philosophy and theology at the Catholic Faculty of Theology in Zagreb. He gave his final examinations there but ultimately graduated from the Evangelical Theology Seminary in Osijek.

While studying in Zagreb, Pilsel began working at local TV station Open Television (OTV) hosting his own TV show, which was focused mainly on religious topics. He was also a long-time writer for the national newspaper Novi list (from 1995 to 2009), as well as a contributor to other publications including Feral Tribune, Globus, Glas Koncila, Novi Plamen, and Slobodna Dalmacija. Pilsel further wrote and corresponded for foreign media companies, most notably El País (Spain), BBC (United Kingdom), Monitor (Montenegro), and Nezavisne novine (Bosnia and Herzegovina).

Drago Pilsel was one of the founding members of the Croatian Helsinki Committee, a human rights watch organization. He gained public attention during the mid-1990s when he investigated and located Serbian victims after the end of the Croatian War of Independence. He entered Knin shortly after Operation Storm and started working on that terrain [JC02]. He also exposed Croatian war crimes in Lika and Gospić. Plisel was expelled from the Croatian Helsinki Committee in 1997, having reportedly not gotten along well with committee president Ivan Zvonimir Čičak.

In 2002, Pilsel lead the first Zagreb Gay Pride which was considered a great civil rights achievement at the time.

The same year, Pilsel was expelled from the Croatian Christian journalists organisation [JC03]. A few days prior, Pilsel critically attacked a bishop [JC04] and said that the Croatian Church was: “an inhuman, nationalist, catholic sect from which he wants to stay far away.” [JC05] Pilsel maintains a negative attitude towards the Croatian cardinal Josip Bozanić and the institution of the Croatian Church, citing his belief that they are extremely right-wing oriented and want to manipulate politicians.

[JC01] - Learn what? From whom?

[JC02] - Meaning is unclear. What was he working on in Knin? Is this related to the locating of Serbian victims, the exposing of Croatian war crimes, or something else?

[JC03] - I cannot find any indication that an organization by this exact name has ever existed. Is this meant to be the Croatian Journalists’ Association?

[JC04] - How? The wording here implies it might have been a physical assault.

[JC05] - This quote needs to be verified. The source cited (after having been translated into English) does not contain this text.